The Dominus Project

Lent in the Family

I’m a dad. I can’t help it. I think of Lent, and my mind immediately goes into dad-joke mode. Don’t we want to have an excel-Lent?

Okay, okay, all joking aside, I hope everyone had a taste of their favorite king cakes (no matter what editors of excellent Catholic news organizations may say), because, with Ash Wednesday celebrated on March 5^th of this year, the Louisianian season of Mardi Gras has come to a close and the ecclesial season of Lent has begun.

Lent is a rich season for families when it comes to helping our kids know and love Jesus and his Church in the daily rhythms of our homes. Non-Catholics and even non-Christians recognize something important about a season of repentance, which is why Ash Wednesday is often the most attended liturgy of the year, apart from Christmas and Easter. There’s something in us that recognizes our weakness and our dependence on God. There’s something in us that longs for more, for greater communion with Him. So let’s tap into that this Lenten season!

A Too Short History of Lent

The practice of Lent comes from ancient Christianity—we have record of early bishops from at least the 300s AD telling us of how people wanting to become Christian (in what our Church now calls O.C.I.A., the Order of Christian Initiation of Adults) underwent a period of intensified prayer, fasting, and almsgiving in the leadup to receiving the sacraments of initiation (baptism, the Eucharist, and confirmation). Eventually, already-initiated Catholics decided to join these catechumens in these practices, since they could see the fruitfulness of a time for refocusing on the Lord. Lent, then, is not so much a time to relight the fire of our broken New Year resolutions but to ask ourselves: How can my family and I grow in holiness and become closer to God? How can we let Jesus reign more in our hearts and in our homes?

What to Give Up for Lent

If you have an intellectual itch like me, then one of the best articles I’ve ever read on “what to give up for Lent” comes from a dear friend of mine, a professor at Benedictine College, Dr. John Meinert. If you don’t have the intellectual itch or the time to read it, then I’m happy to sum it up for you: there are 4 ways, Dr. Meinert tells us, we might relate to a created good (like a bed, food, sex, beer, friends, video games, social media, movies, cell phones, etc.). We might be (1) attached to the good in a disordered or sinful way, (2) unsure if we’re attached to a good in a sinful way, (3) not attached in a sinful way but needing to be more thankful for that good, or (4) not attached and rightly thankful. As you can tell, each option is better than the previous one. So what happens when you give that “good” up for Lent? If you’re in category (1), you will make efforts to avoid sin. If (2), you will discover whether you are too attached or not by how you feel when you take the good away (If you feel like you can’t live without it, you might be too attached). If (3), you will be more thankful when the good returns come Easter. If (4), then you can make a beautiful offering to the Lord that reminds yourself that we are “citizens of heaven” and not made for this world alone. Keep these things in mind when deciding what to do for Lent!

Lent in the Family

In the Pedraza fam, we have a family meeting to decide what to do for Lent. We gather chairs in the family room and say a quick impromptu prayer asking the Holy Spirit to guide us in choosing. We also have one of the boys read our family rule, a small list of things we hold to as foundational for being a Pedraza.

Then we go around and give affirmations to each family member—essentially, everyone takes a turn saying why they’re grateful for everyone else in the family (If this seems awkward or cheesy to you, trust me, it ends up being one of the most powerful moments of the meeting. Happy tears are often shed. You’d be surprised how often people feel underappreciated or need a little encouragement.). Then we sit in silence for a minute trying to listen to the Holy Spirit and asking ourselves what we can do individually and as a family for Lent. Finally, we talk about it together and make decisions. This time around, the Pedrazas are going to one more daily Mass a week; we’re going to serve at a local homeless shelter; we’ve put up beautiful pictures of the Way of the Cross around our house to do a family devotion on Friday nights by praying before each station. And we’re giving up sweets (except on Sundays and Solemnities!). I’ll keep what we’re doing individually confidential, but hopefully this gives you an idea of some of the things you can do around your household.

Whatever the case, don’t let this season pass you by! And remember, as Msgr. James Shea said in a powerful talk at last year’s SEEK conference, if you fail in avoiding sin or in keeping your practices, just get up again and keep going. Jesus has already won the victory. And if that’s true, then the only way we lose is if we give up. If we struggle, fall, and repent all the way to the finish line, we will still finish the race. That should give us so much hope!

Prayers,

Brian Pedraza, Ph.D.

Director, The Dominus Project

P.S. Every family meeting ends with a 5-minute dance party. It’s silly and a lot of fun.

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What We’ve Been Up To

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The Not So Late Show

Our event on January 31st was the talk of the town! Fr. Mathew Dunn gave a ridiculously funny comedic monologue on Gen Z lingo, and Dr. Mario Sacasa gave a fascinating interview on Gen Z dating habits and tips for parents. If you missed it, you’re in for a treat! We have a video of the evening on our Dominus Project website under Resources.

Men’s Conference Visit: Practice Makes Perfect!

We visited the Baton Rouge conference put on by our friends at the Men of the Immaculata, our second year in a row of doing so. Last year, we interviewed a fellow exhibitor, Mrs. Emily Froeba, campus minister at St. Michael’s High School, and she gave us an awesome practice to take up with our families during Lent: family confession. Check out the unique way the Froebas do family confession below:

Upcoming Event: From Boys to Men

The Dominus team has been eating up an excellent book by Jason Craig, Catholic farmer and homesteader and founder of Fraternus, called Leaving Boyhood Behind: Reclaiming the Gift of Manhood and Traditional Rites of Passage. And now we have great news: he is coming to FranU to offer a talk to moms and dads: “Rites of Passage: How Boys Grow Up and Why Some Men Don’t.” We even have a special surprise opportunity for dads who come (to be revealed at the event!). Come enjoy some beer and BBQ, pray for your kids, and enjoy an illuminating talk. You can register below.

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Future Endeavors

In line with the upcoming event, Dominus director Dr. Brian Pedraza is teaming up with friends (including Deacon Michael Parker) to create a podcast on being a Catholic Dad. Stay tuned for more info soon!

Also, we’re inviting the author of one of our favorite books, Dr. Holly Taylor Coolman, author of Parenting: The Complex and Beautiful Vocation of Raising Children, to visit us for a two-day event over the summer. More details to come!

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