How to Make Faith “Stick”

Our oldest turned 13 this year, and I definitely had one of those (and pardon my crudeness), “Oh crap! I’ve only got 5 more years with him!” moments. I know that, for most, communication doesn’t end when a kid leaves home. But if we’ve said anything over and over again at The Dominus Project, it’s that what you do to form your kids in the home really matters.

With that in mind, lately I’ve been reading a book published in 2014 by Kara Powell of the Fuller Youth Institute called The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family.

It builds upon research Fuller Seminary did on hundreds of youth group kids who then went on to college, some who kept the faith (the faith “stuck” to them) and some who left it. Dr. Powell gives over 100 practical ideas garnered from families who, with the grace of God, have built lasting faith in their kids. I thought I would share two of those ideas here.

We Will Get What We Are

One of the first points Powell makes is that the research is very clear: as a “rule of thumb,” your children’s most likely religious outcome is this: “We’ll get what we are” (p. 28). This is not to deny that God’s grace and your children’s freedom take center stage, but statistically speaking, parents are the most significant factor influencing whether a child becomes an adult who cares about his or her faith. A corollary of this is, you will get what your kids think you are. Your influence on your kids’ faith is not simply about what you believe and how you act but what your kids think you believe and how they perceive your actions.

The upshot of all this is encapsulated well in Ansleigh’s Monday Minute video from a few weeks ago, where she asks, “How would you feel if your kids grew up to be just like you?” Want your kids to be prayerful? Look in the mirror. Are you prayerful? Want your kids to have the inner peace and joy that comes from trusting in God? How are you doing in the trust department?

I don’t know about you, but that question hits like a spiritual punch to the gut! One of the practicals Dr. Powell recommends is carving out time for the Lord in a disciplined way: “The same time. The same place. Every day. Or at least most days” (p. 31). My time with the Lord is right after we tuck the kids in bed. I turn one of our family room chairs toward the fireplace, above which a crucifix hangs, and light a candle on the mantle. Then I give him (an often sleepy) fifteen to thirty minutes. I should add, if you want to build this habit, be kind to yourself. If you miss a day or two, just get back on track. As my spiritual director once told me, “There are two rules to starting a prayer life: One, show up. Two, stop worrying about how it feels.”

The Power of Intergenerational Mentoring

The other point I want to draw our attention to is the power of having faith-filled adults mentor children. Sometimes, this is counterintuitive in our churchy spaces. We form youth groups and create youth-specific spaces, thinking that kids, especially teenagers, want less to do with adults as they get older. But Fuller Seminary looked at 13 different activities churches usually offer teens, and the number one activity that made for sticky faith was intergenerational worship and relationships (p. 96. By the way, coming in last place was “games”). Teenagers don’t want to be separated from adults. They want adult disciples of Jesus who can mentor them in how to become adult disciples, too. Dr. Powell recommends kids having 5 faith-filled adults who can pour into them by encouraging them, spending time with them occasionally, and mentoring them. For one family interviewed for the book, this took the form of a dad giving his son a special 16th birthday. He asked ten family friends who were men to write down advice for his son, including Scripture verses that were aimed at developing specific qualities. He then brought his son to a lake where the ten men were stationed around it at different places. As the dad and the son walked the lake, they were joined one by one by these men, who shared what they had written and prayed out loud for the son.

“He then brought his son to a lake where the ten men were stationed. …As the dad and the son walked the lake, they were joined one by one by these men, who shared what they had written and prayed out loud for the son.”  

-Sticky Faith Guide, p. 105

That story gave me chills. How about you? Can you think of 5 faith-filled adults who could help mentor your kids? If not, how could you go about approaching your pastor for help and building relationships at church so this could happen?

There are more gems in the book, so pick it up, reach out to us, or swing by our office at FranU for some prayer and conversation. We’re praying for you. Pray for us in this important mission to make Jesus the Lord of our homes and families!

Brian Pedraza, Ph.D.

Director, The Dominus Project

What We’re Up To

We’ve got three exciting events for the Fall: a Back-to-School-Night with Dr. Matt Breuninger, a chance to win artist circle tickets to the Cathedrals Tour with Matt Maher and Sarah Kroger, and the Born to Run 5k and Fun Run!

A Back to School Night for Parents

Join The Dominus Project for an evening of nourishment, community, and expert guidance as we start the new school year. We are thrilled to host Dr. Matt Breuninger, clinical psychologist and past assistant professor at Franciscan University of Steubenville. We have been following Dr. Breuninger for a while and after watching his impactful message at Seek 2024, we knew we had to bring him to share his insights and guidance with our families in Baton Rouge (link below)!

Doors open at 5:30pm with dinner included, and his talk begins at 6:15pm. Parents and caregivers from sponsoring parishes/schools can get a discount code from their school for 50% off.

Register Here!

The Cathedrals Tour with Matt Maher and Sarah Kroger

Catholic music artists Matt Maher and Sarah Kroger are touring the beautiful churches of the country to offer evenings of worship, music, and prayer, and they are coming to Sacred Heart Church in Baton Rouge on October 29th.

The Dominus Project is offering families the chance to win up to 4 Artist Circle tickets (close to the front, usually $81 ea.). We have many tickets to give away. To enter to win, send us a video of your family singing at least one verse and chorus of your favorite Matt Maher or Sarah Kroger song. Send entries or share them with thedominusproject@gmail.com.

You can check out the video our team did for inspiration by clicking the picture below:

Born to Run 5k and 1/2-mile Fun Run

We are, once again, forming a team to support Woman’s New Life Center’s annual Born to Run race! Last year’s Dominus Project Team had several top 10 finishers in various age categories!

We’re excited to announce that FranU is opening registration to the entire university to join us in this endeavor. Training for and running/walking the 5k or the 1/2-mile race is a great way to glorify God in your body as a family, and it makes for a fun way to gather with lots of Catholics and other Christians in our land who care about supporting mothers and their children.

Use the link to join our team, below.* Those who register by October 26th will receive a team team shirt, and, like last year, The Dominus Project will be giving free swag to those who join our team!

Join Our Team Here

*At the bottom of the registration page, it will ask if you want to create or join a team. Select “yes,” then choose “join” and select the “FranU/Dominus Project” team.

Join Our Mission: Spiritual and Financial Discipleship

The Dominus Project is run by Franciscan Missionaries of Our Lady University, a non-profit, small-but-mighty Catholic university in Baton Rouge. We care about the community. We care about families in our land. We would love for you to join our mission by praying and sacrificing for us and by asking the Lord if He might want you to contribute financially to us. We also want to pray for you! We have a team holy hour and Mass every week for our Dominus family, so let us know whom and what we can offer up.

How can we pray for you?

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